you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
it glows. i had to have it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
