11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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