I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
