as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
either way he was missing a nipple.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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