Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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