I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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