I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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