I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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