your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
