They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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