operation harelip BJ is a go
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i think my cat just said my name.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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