Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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