i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
50% drunk capacity currently
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
