im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
