I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
