Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
