Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
