I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
me + whiskey = a bad person
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
