i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
