found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My feet surprised me
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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