dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
