So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
