You smell like stripper and shame
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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