I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
