Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
