You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
