Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
