hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i think my tv is drunk
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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