officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Dicks are not precious.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
