Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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