forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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