Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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