EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
