from now on my penis is your penis
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
