my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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