How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
