It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
