I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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