Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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