woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My balls are so social today.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
