she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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