I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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