just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
