If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
