In the future we'll all be gay
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
my liver is dry heaving
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
