Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
