I am puke
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
