The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
