please come you make the beer taste better
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
