And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
