Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
