They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
