can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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